Once again, I have been thinking about giving up the blog. Or maybe just making it private.
I enjoy the act of blogging, because I enjoy writing. I also like being able to document things here. For me, for my family. Memories that would otherwise be lost. Photos capture moments, but they don’t tell the stories. That’s one of the reasons I scrapbook, but I’m not “up to date”. I have never bowed to the pressure of scrapbooking chronologically, or making sure I’ve ticked certain pages off an imaginary list. I just scrap the photos I feel like scrapping, or use the products I feel like using. I guess that’s because scrapbooking is primarily a creative outlet for me, and preserving memories is simply a bonus. However, this does mean that there are some stories that don’t get told. But I do try to tell them here. Which is why I would miss the blog, if I shut it down.
Hence the idea of keeping it private. I don’t do it for other people, anyway. I do it for me and for my family.
Why am I thinking like this, after 6 years of regular blogging?
To be honest, I have been disillusioned with the whole blogging scene for quite some time. Hardly anybody reads or comments on my blog these days, compared to a few years ago. That’s not a big deal, I can handle the loss of traffic. I certainly don’t follow the “rules” for increasing blog traffic, because I don’t really care that much. But there are other reasons, too. I often feel like I have to be careful what I say. I don’t want to feel like that. I want to be able to write about God, without always feeling like I need to “tone it down”. I want to express my concerns about this PC-mad world we live in, without offending people. I want to share my true feelings, without the fear of being laughed at. I want to share my poetry, my prayers, the rambling, crazy, raw and honest stuff I write in my pen-on-paper journal (yes, I still have one, even in this technological age).
What to do? I’ve been through this conundrum before. I have (obviously) always decided to KEEP blogging, and to keep doing it publicly. Maybe I’ll do the same thing this time. Maybe I won’t.
I don’t know the answer right now. But perhaps it will come to me, in time. Until then, I might not have a lot to say. I might have more to say than ever before. We’ll just have to see.