I am not a judgemental person, but sometimes when I see and hear the way some guys treat their partners (in public), I am disgusted.
Scenario #1. At Ethan’s soccer game on Saturday, I witnessed a conversation between a guy and his wife/girlfriend (the parents of one of the players on the opposing team). I didn’t want to hear the conversation, but since he was standing on one side of me, and she was on the other, I was quite literally stuck in the middle. I felt sad as the man angrily muttered a string of profanities about how unfair it was that HE had to take their toddler to the playground on the other side of the soccer fields, causing him to miss the first 10 minutes of his older son’s game. I was shocked to hear him complaining, as the woman was holding a newborn baby and obviously had her hands full.
But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was the way he looked at her. UGLY. Almost evil. A few minutes after he had finished his angry tirade, I (inadvertently) glanced in his direction. I actually felt physically sick when I saw the way he was looking at her, still muttering under his breath.
Scenario #2. A few weeks ago, we visited a craft fair in Whangarei. We sat outside in the sunshine while we ate our sausages and waited for the boys to have a turn with the paintball guns. Just along from us, a couple with a baby were having an argument about whether they should buy a particular item from one of the stalls. That in itself was pretty odd (pick your battles, people!) but what upset me was the way they spoke to each other. Complete nastiness.
I already know I am blessed to have a husband like Rob. But seeing the way some people treat their partners and children reinforces that fact.
My husband would never speak nastily to me. Not in public. Not in private. Not ever!
He has never (NEVER!) looked at me in a hateful way. In fact, I don’t think he has ever looked at anyone that way. He doesn’t have a hateful bone in his body.
He would not complain about “having” to look after the kids. He would just do it. And who said it was the mother’s job to look after all the children, all the time? Is the Dad not equally responsible? For us, it was a no-brainer that BOTH parents would be equally involved in the whole child-raising gig. After all, we were equally involved in the whole baby-making gig!
I know I’m not perfect. I get grumpy. I sometimes use a less than desirable tone of voice when I’m speaking to my husband or children. But I TRY not to. I work on it all the time. And I’m not afraid to apologise afterwards if I fail to keep things in check.
My husband doesn’t seem to have that problem. He is an extremely calm person, with a very even temperament. He never uses a nasty tone of voice. Sometimes he gets in a bit of a “teasing” mood, but it’s all in jest. And he certainly knows when NOT to pull that one (like, at a certain time of the month).
I really do pinch myself sometimes, wondering HOW I managed to get so lucky. How did I score a guy like Rob? How did I end up with somebody so kind, generous, thoughtful and respectful? HOW?
But then I realise that the “how” doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I appreciate him. What matters is that I acknowledge all the things I love about him. What matters is that I am THANKFUL for him.
And I am SO thankful.