Dear Ethan,

You are almost 7 1/2 years old. Today is not your birthday, it is just a day like any other day. But today I want to try and explain how I feel about you right now. It’s kinda hard, but I will give it my best shot.

You are growing up right before my eyes, in a way that I never anticipated before. Although your baby, toddler and preschool years went by quickly, as everyone said they would, it is only now that I feel you are growing up TOO quickly. Don’t worry, you’re not. You’re just being a regular 7-year-old kid. Obviously you’re growing at the same rate you always have, the same rate as every other kid. But to ME, it feels like you’re getting older so much faster.

There was a time where Daddy and I were the main influences in your life. We were the ones who fed and nurtured you as an infant. The ones who read you story after story after you discovered books in a huge way. The ones who taught you about the big, wide world. The ones who answered all of those incessant 3-year-old “why?” questions.

Now you are older, you have so many other influences and role models. Your brother. Your grandparents. Your aunties, uncles and cousins. Your teachers. Your friends. Other kids in the playground. Soon enough pop stars, actors and sportspeople will be added to that ever-growing list.

You have a pretty awesome brother. You have a wonderful extended family. You’ve had 3 amazing teachers since you started school. And so far, you have made stellar choices when it comes to friends. Aside from one small lapse of judgement a couple of months ago, which you have since rectified, you have befriended some of the most caring, kind and polite kids over the years. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of mates than the ones you have right now.

You are becoming your own person. You’ve got your own style. You’re discovering jokes that YOU think are funny, and then relaying them to us. You’re picking up sayings that we’ve never heard before. Thankfully, most of these jokes and sayings are really funny, and not at all inappropriate. We’re actually learning new material from YOU.

Still, I can’t help but want to protect you. Shield you from all the Bad Stuff that I know is out there. You haven’t encountered it yet, but one day you will; it’s inevitable. Just thinking about that ties my stomach into knots! Have we taught you well enough? Will you know that it’s okay to say “no” to things you don’t agree with? Will you have the courage to be strong and stand up for what you believe? How will you cope with peer pressure and other influences?

At the moment, peer pressure is not a huge deal. You are only 7. Your friends are GOOD kids. Right now, the worst kind of external influences (that are out of my control) are pretty mild. They relate to movies you might end up watching at a friend’s house, swear words you might hear in the school playground, or distasteful jokes you might pick up from a classmate. So far, you have displayed great judgement in all of these areas. Even at age 5, you said “no” to going to an M-rated movie (Spiderman 3) with a friend and his mum, because you knew it wasn’t something I would allow you to watch.

I know this kind of thing is only going to get harder – for BOTH of us – as you get older. Can I just wrap you in cotton wool and keep you home 24/7? Of course I can’t. You have to learn how to live in the real world, and going to school and having lots of external influences will ultimately help you to do that. You need to be exposed to different scenarios so you can learn how to cope with saying “no” or defending your beliefs, even when it’s uncool to do so. Your teenage and young adult years will bring more of the same, only turned up about, oh, ten thousand notches.

So … I promise NOT to shield you from everything. I promise to allow you to grow and learn. It’s hard for me to watch you changing. It’s hard for me to witness you becoming your own person instead of just my little boy, an extension of myself. But I must let you do it.

I’ll let you climb trees, ride your bike down steep hills, jump off high stuff, wrestle on the ground with your brother. I’ll let you do those things even though there’s a chance you could get hurt. And when you do, I’ll be there to bandage up your wounds and send you back out.
I’ll let you screw up every so often. I know there will be times where I, as the adult, will see a mistake coming. I’ll be tempted to step in and save your bacon. But I won’t. I’ll allow you to learn from your mistakes, suffer the consequences, and practice that thing called responsibility.

I won’t let you be a mollycoddled Mummy’s Boy. While you are still young, I will do things for you, because that’s my job. But I’m already giving you responsibilities around the house, and there’s a reason for that. When you’re older, I will make you cook meals, do housework, buy your own clothes, do the grocery shopping. Yes, that will be my gift to your future wife.

Until then, I will try to find the balance between protecting you, and letting you be independent. I know there will be some precarious teetering between the two, as I’m finding that balance, but I’ll do my best. At the very least, I’m determined not to topple over completely and land on my butt.

This thing called “growing up” won’t always be easy for you. I’ve been there myself, so I know. But you can rest assured that I’ll always be here for you. Anytime you DO want me to hold you, comfort you, protect you? I’ll be right here. Anytime you DO need me to tell you that everything will be alright? I’ll be right here.

Always.

Love, Mummy