Growing old

If I live to be old (and by “old” I mean in my 80’s or 90’s), I want to be relatively healthy, able-bodied, with good eyesight and hearing, and no cognitive impairment. Not too much to ask, is it?

My Grandma will soon be moving into a local rest home. She has been on the waiting list for several months, but a room became available last Friday, and the time has now come for her to move out of her home.

Over the last couple of years, Grandma’s health has declined. She has lost about 30kg (which she didn’t need to lose) and she has a very bad ulcer on her leg which the doctors have said will never completely heal. Together with various other complaints including severe arthritis resulting in extremely limited mobility (she can’t walk without assistance), it is obvious that she can no longer live on her own. For quite some time now she has been receiving daily home help, and this has enabled her to stay in her home and maintain some of her independence. But there are many reasons that my Dad doesn’t want her living alone anymore. She doesn’t go to bed anymore. Instead she sleeps all night in her armchair (usually with the heater on), because she is unable to get in and out of bed. That is just one of the reasons. She needs the care and expertise of trained professionals.

Obviously this will be a difficult transition for her, and for the rest of us. Many of her things will need to be sold or given away, and she will find it hard to say goodbye to the garden she loves so much and the friends who live in her little village. But deep down we all know this is the right thing to do, and she does too. I know she will be happy and well-looked after at the rest home, and it is closer to both Mum & Dad’s place and our place. I know she will enjoy the company of the other residents once she has settled in and had the opportunity to meet them.

But the next couple of weeks are going to be pretty busy and stressful for us, especially my parents. They have to go through all the paperwork first, and then we will make a start on the packing/moving. I am trying to sort out the purchase of a new walking frame, and a special recliner chair with electronic controls. Yesterday I read through tons of brochures and paperwork, and tried to get my head around all the legal/financial “stuff” that comes with this type of change.

Grandma turns 88 on Friday. She has had a good life, and she is actually quite healthy in many ways. Potentially she could live for another 10 years. And 99% of me hopes that she does, because I want her to be in my life; I want her to see the boys grow up. I guess the other 1% of me thinks about quality of life, and how important that is. So I hope that moving to a rest home will improve her quality of life so much that her health will also improve, and the rest of her life will be happy and joyful.