Me & my boy

When Ethan turned 10 (almost 1 year ago!) I decided that we would plan a special weekend together, just the two of us. Rob & Ethan did “The Big Weekend” in July last year, where Ethan learned a lot more about the birds and the bees. Ten is a milestone age in our family, and going away separately with each parent for a special weekend at this age is something we decided was really important. Tyler is already looking forward to his turn!

Ethan & I have had a long time to plan this trip. We never intended for it to take place just a week out from his 11th birthday, but that’s just the way it happened. I asked him what he wanted to do, and after a lot of thought and a lot of discussion, he decided that he wanted to stay at a hotel in town. He also wanted to swim (in a waterhole, but I decided a heated pool was better considering the time of year) and look at shops. So easy to please!

We had a truly wonderful weekend together. I will treasure the memories forever, and I hope Ethan will too. He thanked me so many times over the weekend and I know he enjoyed everything we did. It was lots of fun, but the best part about it was spending so much quality time together, doing things HE wanted to do.

The weekend started with his soccer game on Saturday morning, which was at Huapai (about 45 minutes drive from our place). When the game kicked off, his team only had 6 (of 9) players, so we were bracing ourselves for a right thrashing. However, Ethan scored a goal within the first minute! Another 3 players eventually arrived, and they played a really good game. Ethan scored another goal and came away with Player of the Day. They didn’t win, but it was a close one (3-2).

After the game, we had lunch and headed straight into the city. We stayed at the Stamford Plaza, right in the heart of the CBD. Rob & I have stayed there before and I knew Ethan would LOVE it. He’s never stayed anywhere that nice, so everything was fascinating and awesome in his eyes. From the hotel-valet-in-tails-and-a-top-hat and fancy swipe card to the minibar and the fluffy white robe and slippers in our room, he was enchanted.

The first thing he wanted to do was check out the pool, spa and sauna. He had never been in a sauna before, so that was an experience! The pool was a bit cold for me, but the spa was lovely. After our swim, we headed out for some serious window shopping. We spent ages looking around the Billabong, Rip Curl and Quicksilver shops on Queen Street, and then we checked out Loaded on Vulcan Lane. Back to the hotel for a bit of a rest, and then it was time for dinner. I let him choose what we ate. He chose Mexican, so we headed up the road to Mexican Cafe. He ordered an adult-sized burrito with jalopenos, and almost finished the whole thing. We had hot chocolates at Gloria Jeans, and then headed back to our hotel room to watch the Blues vs Crusaders rugby game on SKY. A novelty for both of us, as we don’t have SKY and we don’t have TVs in our bedrooms!

I didn’t sleep very well because of the outside street noise (cars/buses, loud music, people laughing and yelling) and because I had the rather large feet of an almost-11-year-old shoved into my face several times. I have no idea HOW he managed that, as it was a King-sized bed and I really did keep to my half!!

We enquired about the price of breakfast at the hotel restaurant, and it was actually Ethan who said “NO WAY” when he heard how much it was going to cost! So we wandered down the road to a cute little diner-esque cafe called Ronnie’s. We sat in retro vinyl booths and ate eggs, bacon, sausage and toast with butter. It was cheap, and it was GOOD. After breakfast, we walked down to the waterfront and watched the boats for awhile, before heading back to the hotel for one final swim/spa.

After checking out (and receiving a free chocolate bar for filling out the in-room survey card – it pays to read those things carefully, people!) we decided to grab some lunch and do a spot of shopping. We bought birthday presents for my sister, niece and nephew, whose birthdays are on the 26th, 28th and 30th of this month, respectively. Ethan’s is on the 27th. Yeah. May is BUSY.

By the time we got home, I felt like all I had done was eat for 2 days. But we did manage to get a bit of exercise in. Walking, and swimming. Well, I didn’t really swim, I just sat in hot water! And Ethan also played an hour of soccer. Hmm, what’s the bet he burns off all the food a LOT quicker than me?

We shared some really neat moments together and had some awesome conversations, but mostly we just enjoyed each other’s company. It was so nice to spend that much time with him, just the two of us. Sure, this particular weekend was an expensive one, but I think it was worth every cent. As my lovely husband put it, it was a “good investment”. His weekend away with Ethan last year was decidedly LESS costly – especially since they slept in the back of the wagon! – but I know without a doubt that it was just as special and memorable.

My relationships with my boys are so important to me, and nurturing them is vital. It is my hope that we will be able to get through anything life throws at us, as long as we have the right ‘heart relationship’. I know I don’t have to take them away for a weekend in order to keep that going, but it is nice to do something different. Something that will be remembered for years to come. Spending quality time together, giving them my undivided attention, taking the time to listen to them, doing the things that they enjoy doing. I feel so very blessed to have such special relationships with each of my boys, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them strong.

Here are a few photos that Ethan & I took over the weekend. A great memento of our special ‘adventure’.

Legacy of Blessings

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and it was a really lovely one. To be honest, it had been a pretty rough week, and I wasn’t holding high hopes for a drama-and-stress-free day. But it was! And I enjoyed it very much.

The boys woke me with big smiles and lots of hugs and kisses. They gave me a very cool T-shirt which says “Greatest Mum”. Aww. Tyler also bought me a pretty blue bracelet from the Hospice shop with his own money – so sweet! Their cards were once again full of words that would melt any mother’s heart:

ETHAN
Mum, you should enjoy your day and don’t worry about anything else. Relax and don’t stress. I love you and if I could erase all of my sins I would. DEFINATELY!! I love you, and wish you a Happy Mothers Day! Love Ethan.

TYLER
Mum, I hope you have a fantastic day and get lots of kisses and hugs all for you on Mothers Day! Love you lots. From Ty! xooxoox

Tyler also wrote me a poem:

Mum, you are fantastic!
Mum, you help me when I’m sick.
Mum, you are an amazing typist.
Mum, you support me when I’m playing.
Mum, you are the world’s best cook.
Mum, you take us on holiday.
Mum, you clean up any mess.
It’s great to have a mum like you!
It’s fantastic!

Tyler made me breakfast in bed – a layered cereal/yoghurt/fruit concoction in a tall glass! Raspberry and pineapple are an interesting combination.

We always do amazing special services at our church on Mother’s Day, and yesterday was no exception. Our theme was “A Legacy of Blessings: A Few of my Favourite Things”. We decorated the coffee tables with ‘Favourites’ chocolates and little ‘brown paper packages tied up with string’ (and encouraged everyone to take one home and use the paper to write a legacy note of appreciation to their mother or another woman in their life). We also had a panel of people talking about the legacy and blessings their mothers have handed down to them. There were items, jokes, skits, thoughts, songs and prayers. Oh, and a totally delicious morning tea!

After church, we had lunch at our place with my sister and parents. We gave Mum/Nana her presents and just enjoyed spending the afternoon together before all heading out to watch Ethan’s water polo game. Tomato soup and toast for my dinner, a glass of wine, some chocolate, and two of my favourite TV shows (Survivor and Masterchef). A great way to end a happy, fun, relaxing day spent with my favourite people in the whole world.

To my own lovely Mum, THANK YOU for everything. You are leaving me the most amazing legacy, by modelling courage, faith, love, commitment, perseverance and kindness. You are a wonderful example of the wife and mother I am striving to be, and I hope I can do half as well as you have done and are still doing. Thank you for being the BEST Nana to my boys – words cannot express how much it means to me that you have such a close bond with them. I love you! x

Looking back …

Sometimes I look back on the ‘good old days’ of parenting, where the biggest things I had to worry about and deal with were tantrums and dummies and toilet training. Actually, those were pretty big things at the time, and I definitely didn’t think those days were easy back then!

In many respects, we are in a period of plain sailing right now. Our boys are fairly independent and can do pretty much everything for themselves. They feed themselves, make their own breakfasts/lunches, dress themselves, wash themselves, brush their own teeth, wipe their own butts, do their own homework, etc. Going out with them doesn’t involve packing an extra bag or 3, or taking special food, or having to be home for naps/bedtime. We get a full night’s sleep every night. I don’t have to carry a child around on my hip, or constantly watch to see what they are up to. Physically, it is much easier.

But emotionally, things are getting harder. I touched on this a few weeks ago. I’m out of my depth here, but I’m doing my best to stay afloat. Sometimes I find it helpful to look back on what I have already been through to help me on the rest of my journey. Not necessarily because I can learn new tricks, but just to remind myself that I made it through THAT, and I will also make it through the next phase. Things may be pretty sweet right now, but it was hard work back then (and it’s fairly safe to say that we have more hard work coming our way). So hopefully a little walk down memory lane will help me realise that I actually CAN do this parenting thing. Better late than never, right?

Let’s look back and see what we dealt with and coped with back in 2005-2008, shall we? I can’t go any further back than that because I didn’t start blogging until Tyler was almost 1. Wish I’d started sooner, but I wouldn’t have had a clue what a blog was.

(click on the numbers to see the original posts)

OUR KIDS TAUGHT US LOTS OF STUFF.

1. Like what happens if you feed your one-year-old a large bowl of boysenberry trifle.
2. Kids like eating sugar straight from the bowl.
3. Kids learn a lot from their parents too – and not always the good stuff!
4. Toddlers Rule.
5. There is beauty in simplicity.
6. Loose baby teeth can be kicked out by your brother.
7. Interviewing kids is a lot of fun. And interesting.

WE PUT UP WITH A LOT.

1. So. Much. Talking.
2. Attention seeking.
3. Being woken in the night to find toys that have fallen out of bed.
4. Our kids are quirky.
5. Kids with chicken pox. Fun times!

WE FOUGHT LOTS OF BATTLES (AND WON SOME).

1. It was easier to get rid of a dummy than I thought it would be.
2. Toilet training is actually pretty easy if you wait until they are ready.
3. Shoplifting can start at a very young age.
4. Terrible Twos can start when a child is only ONE.
5. Time Out doesn’t always work.
6. Jeckel & Hyde. Need I say more?
7. My kids drove me nuts when it came to clothes.
8. Four-year-olds have a LOT of attitude.
9. To nap, or not to nap?

WE MADE SOME MISTAKES.

1. Like getting Tyler’s hair cut.
2. I was a very slow learner.
3. We allowed our children to watch “In the Night Garden”.
4. We let our kids eat hail for dinner. Nah, that wasn’t a mistake at all.

SOME DAYS REALLY SUCKED.

1. Like the day I scoured the entire shopping mall looking for a batman cape.
2. Like doctors appointments with a toddler and a preschooler.
3. Sick kids are hard work.
4. Stealing from a child is bad. Having to explain that to a child is worse.
5. Some nights sucked, too.
6. I felt so deeply for my child that it physically hurt inside.

THERE WERE LOTS OF FIRSTS.

1. First birthdays.
2. First day of Kindy.
3. Enrolling at school.
4. First day of school.
5. First lost tooth.
6. First huge road trip with both kids (9 hours each way (and we survived)).
7. First player of the day award.

WE LAUGHED. A LOT.

1. Our kids said some funny things.
2. Really funny.
3. Hilarious, even.
4. These ones even got published.
5. Answering tricky questions without laughing isn’t easy.
6. Creative and clever as well as funny.
7. Do you know what an internal monologue is?
8. It’s important to pay attention when your kids ask questions.

AND IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.

1. There were heart melting moments.
2. Sometimes they even acted like they loved each other.
3. Four-year-olds can also be incredibly sweet.
4. Seriously, there was so much cuteness.
5. This kind of sweetness is hard to fathom.
6. There is nothing like a gift from your child.
7. Their words lifted me up when I needed it most.
8. I was (and am) so blessed to have two beautiful, healthy boys.

I can take a step back now and look at what we have been through. The battles we fought, the mistakes we made, the milestones and memories, the lessons we learned, the fun we had. And that is one reason that I am glad I have this blog. Several times I have considered packing it in, but then I would not be able to look back and remember all those details.

What a great ride it has been so far. And it can only get better!

Feijoa Butterscotch Puddings & Feijoa Ice Cream

I meant to post these recipes a couple of weeks ago, but I forgot.
Sadly our feijoa trees are empty now, but I know some people’s trees are still laden and you can even buy them if you are happy to pay for them!
The puddings are apparently awesome (I haven’t tried them because I’m not a big fan of feijoas). According to Rob, they are perfect with my feijoa ice cream … so I will post the recipe for that as well.
The pudding recipe came from a friend of mine, but it’s originally a Jo Seagar recipe. I found the ice cream recipe on the FoodLovers website. It’s super easy!

Feijoa Butterscotch Self-Saucing Puddings

¾ cup brown sugar
1 cup self raising flour
¼ cup milk
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
100g butter, melted
3 Tablespoons golden syrup
6 large feijoas, halved
6 Tablespoons extra brown sugar
1 ½ cups boiling water
Icing sugar to dust

Preheat oven to 180C.
Coat 6 x 1 cup capacity ovenproof ramekins or small pudding bowls with non-stick spray.
Place the first measure of brown sugar, the flour, milk, egg, vanilla and melted butter in a food processor and mix until smooth.
Pour equal amounts of the golden syrup into the bottom of each ramekin. Scoop out the feijoa pulp, keeping it intact, and slice into each ramekin. Pour the batter over the top of the feijoas, filling each ramekin to just three quarters full. Sprinkle each pudding with a tablespoon of extra brown sugar, then gently pour ¼ cup of boiling water into each ramekin. Do not mix the water in, just carefully pour it on top.
Bake for 25 minutes until the puddings have risen and are firm, set and golden brown.
Serve with dusting of icing sugar and/or ice cream.

Feijoa Ice Cream

1 1/2 cups feijoa pulp
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 eggs, separated
300mL cream

Place feijoa pulp in a bowl with sugar and lemon juice, refrigerate overnight.
The next day, beat egg whites until stiff peaks and in a separate bowl whisk egg yolks.
Beat cream until whipped but not too stiff.
Gently mix feijoa, egg yolks and cream and then fold in egg whites.
Pour mixture into a 2 litre container, cover with a tight fitting lid and freeze until set.

Rarotonga

Time to share some photos and stories from my trip to Rarotonga with Mandy!

Because Mandy lives in Wellington, and I live in Auckland, we met at the International Airport after her domestic flight. Sadly it had not been a great experience, as her plane flew through a thunderstorm and was hit by lightning. But I think meeting up and having some lunch together helped take her mind off it. We had a few hours to kill before our flight. After going through security, we noticed that our flight status was “Relax”. So we did just that.

Our flight to Rarotonga was great. We watched movies and had a nice meal, and 3.5 hours later we were landing. Rarotonga airport is small, so there are no air bridges! We had to walk down a flight of steps to the tarmac (like royalty!) and we were greeted with a big “Kia Orana”, with live music and singing in the background. Getting through customs was a breeze and took less than 15 minutes. I swear you could bring almost anything into that country, as they didn’t x-ray our suitcases or even open them to inspect our food! We were presented with beautiful leis and a bottle of water each, before being escorted to our tour bus and driven to The Edgewater Resort & Spa – our home for the next 5 nights.

The resort is only 5 minutes drive from the airport. We had a garden room – room 808 – but we were pleasantly surprised when we woke up the next morning and stepped onto our balcony to see that we also had a sea view! The resort is RIGHT on the water, and the scenery was just breathtaking. There is a lagoon that encircles the whole island (which is only 32km right around) so it looks stunning when you see the two colours of water where the lagoon meets the reef. So beautiful. The sand is pure white and the water is amazingly clear. There are also palm trees and gorgeous flowers everywhere, just like Fiji.

One of the best things about Rarotonga was all the delicious food, including lots of fresh seafood, my favourite. Eating fresh fruit and coconut for breakfast while sitting next to a sparkling lagoon was the perfect way to start each day. And we must not forget all the yummy cocktails! Mandy tried a different one each day, and I tried a couple. I was happy as I managed to find 600mL bottles of Coke Zero at the local superette for just $3.30 (instead of $8 at the resort).

Our first day in Rarotonga was a Sunday, so we decided to go to church. We had to pay $10 each to get a shuttle from the resort to the church, which was an absolute rip-off. One of the church members was angry when he found out how much we had paid. In retrospect, we should have walked as it would have only taken about 15-20 minutes. But the church service was an incredible experience. The building itself was beautiful, the people were lovely, and the singing was out of this world! Although all the songs were in Cook Islands Maori, as were most of the prayers and readings, the preacher did some of his sermon in English. After church, all the tourists were invited to have ‘morning tea’ in the Sunday School building next door. It definitely wasn’t morning tea – it was a full on lunch! It was delicious, and getting a free lunch made up for having to spend $10 each to get there.

On Monday, we did Captain Tama’s Lagoon Cruise. We were picked up from our resort, and driven to Muri beach on the other side of the island. The Captain Tama boys were hilarious and entertaining from the get go, so we knew we were in for a great day. The boats had glass bottoms, so we could see all the colourful fish through the glass. The boats took us out to a much deeper part of Muri lagoon, a marine reserve. We all jumped off the boat and spent a couple of hours snorkelling in the crystal clear waters. We saw beautiful coral, all kinds of fish of all different colours, giant clams and sea eels. Spectacular!

After that, we hopped back onto the boats and the boys took us to a tiny islet in the middle of the lagoon. They cooked fish on the BBQ, which they served with bread rolls, salads and fresh fruit. After lunch, they entertained us with music, singing, a coconut demonstration and a paeru (sarong) tying demonstration. As well as LOTS and LOTS of joking and teasing! I had to scull half a shell of coconut juice (yum!) but was pleased to NOT be chosen for the paeru tying demonstration! Those girls – and guys – were very brave.

After the food and entertainment, we had a bit of time to explore the island. We got to experience the toilets (unforgettable! for the wrong reasons!) and take lots of photos. It’s a truly beautiful place, and if I ever get to go back, I would want to stay at Muri beach.

On one of the afternoons, I decided to go for a walk along the beach to Black Rock. A few dogs followed me (they are everywhere!) but other than that I was pretty much alone. Although I walked past a couple of other resorts, the main part of the beach itself was empty. Because the island is completely round, there are no points or bays, so all you can see is ocean and then sand. You can’t tell what’s coming up ‘around the corner’, which is really neat. I took lots of photos and then stopped to have a swim before walking back again. Lovely!

We did a lot of snorkelling at the beach by our resort, and it was awesome. The fish are quite tame, so they swim around you as soon as you get into the water. There were heaps of them, too. Snorkelling is one of my all-time favourite water activities, and I was excited for Mandy to try it for the first time. She did get a few coral cuts and a bad sunburn on the first day, but she didn’t let that stop her! Despite leaking masks (I brought my own from home) and rude guests pushing in line when the supply was low, I think she really enjoyed her snorkelling experience. I loved it, and although the water wasn’t quite as warm as I had hoped it would be, it was still a LOT warmer than it ever is back home!

On our second-to-last day, we decided to get the bus into town to buy souvenirs and presents. We chose the perfect day to do this, as it was the only overcast/drizzly day we had. There are two buses that go around the island, one is the clockwise bus and the other is the anticlockwise bus! We decided to take the anticlockwise bus so we could see more of the island (it took us 50 minutes to get to town, instead of 20 minutes the other way). It was a very pleasant drive and we got to see the whole island. Town itself isn’t huge, but we spent several hours shopping, exploring and having lunch at Trader Jacks, before catching the bus back to our resort.

The resort has two special Island Nights per week, so we booked in for the Tuesday one before we even left NZ! We didn’t want to miss out. It was expensive, but definitely worth it. The buffet dinner (most of it cooked in the ground) was AMAZING. We were seated with a lovely couple from Nelson, who were great company. The dancers were so talented, and their costumes were beautiful. It was mesmerising to watch. Thankfully they didn’t get people up from the audience like they did in Fiji (remember the ‘no shirt’ competition you had to enter, Rob?) so I was relieved that I didn’t have to make a fool of myself in front of everyone. All in good fun, I suppose!

There were plenty of activities to do at the resort each day. Fish feeding, making your own paeru, hunting for crabs, dancing lessons, etc. We chose to make flower eis (headdresses) to wear to the Island Night. Our guide was a guy called “Bob” (at least he was that day!) and he showed a group of us how to collect flowers and leaves from around the resort, and then weave them onto a flax headband. It was fun, and we were quite proud of our finished masterpieces!

It was such a relaxing holiday, although we managed to do quite a bit as well. The perfect balance. I enjoyed being active and exploring the island, but I also looked forward to just chilling out by the pool and beach with a cold drink and a good book each afternoon. Happy hour was from 5-6pm each evening, and we stayed to watch the sunset each day as well. They were certainly pretty, but not as spectacular and colourful as we thought they would be. We still managed to take plenty of sunset photos!

I had a wonderful time, and Mandy was a great travelling companion. Thanks for inviting me, Mandy! I am so glad you had such a great experience for your first ever tropical island holiday, and that you were able to relax after such a long term. So, where to next year?

In perfect harmony*

Rob & I are celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary today.

I love being married. According to my calculations, I have now been married for 40% of my life! And although 14 years is not a very long time in the big scheme of things, I have learned so much during those 14 years.

I have learned about compromise. About sacrificial love. About what it means to want the best for another person. I have also learned a great deal about myself along the way. I like to think that I’ve grown, and that I will continue to grow.

Rob & I are complete opposites in many ways, but we have a lot of fun together. He can always make me laugh. I have discovered that there is something incredibly awesome about sharing life with a person who is strong when I am weak. Someone who is optimistic when I am not. Someone who understands me better than I understand myself.

My husband is a kind man. So very kind. He is extremely generous and gracious. He is unbelievably even-tempered, and he is wise. He loves me, and I know it without a doubt.

I know that I am very fortunate to have these things, and I am grateful and thankful for my husband every single day. Today especially!

As most of you will know from reading my previous anniversary posts, Rob & I have always given each other traditional wedding anniversary gifts. This year, the traditional gift is ivory.

Real ivory is a little hard to come by, not to mention the ethical issues associated with the fact that it comes from an endangered species. So, fake ivory it is.

I didn’t have too much difficulty thinking of a gift for Rob. I bought him two beautiful hand-crafted Laguioles ivory cheese knives. Part of his gift also includes the cheeseboard for which the knives will be used. I went to Nosh and stocked up on a selection of cheeses, and bought fruit, nuts, crackers and chocolate to go alongside. I also chilled the bottle of Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin champagne I received from the couple whose wedding I photographed in February. Since we never drink real French champagne, I decided to save it for a special occasion. Tonight we will eat and drink in style!

I have also planned a special outing for Sunday afternoon. I can’t say anything else about it yet, because I might spoil the surprise, but I am definitely looking forward to it. More than anything else, I’m excited about spending some quality time with my man — especially after spending almost a whole week apart.

So babe, here’s to us. To nearly 20 years of amazing friendship. To 16 years and 2 months together. To 14 years of marriage. To almost 11 years of parenthood. To sharing life and all its ups and downs, no matter where the road takes us. To knowing that with God at the centre of our marriage, we have created a cord of 3 strands which is not easily broken. To knowing that we can overcome any obstacle because we have each other.

* Ebony & Ivory – Paul McCartney

I’m back!

Well, I’m home again after a wonderful holiday in Rarotonga with the lovely Mandy. What a trip! It was AMAZING. I took about 200 photos (no surprise there!) but I’m waiting to get copies of Mandy’s photos before I do a blog post about our holiday. My pics are up on Facebook if you want to look at them there in the meantime.

Although I had a great time, I really did miss my boys while I was gone. It’s always hard being away from them, but I find anything over 2-3 days is extra tough, especially when I’m away from Rob as well. Looking back, I can’t believe I did a 2-week stint when Tyler was only 2 years old. I’d forgotten how hard that was, but I don’t think it gets any easier to leave them, even now that they are older.

My boys had made me lovely “welcome home” cards which they gave me at the airport. And then today, while I was at work, I got this email from Ethan:

Subject: How ya doing?
Hi Mum, today I got a big scratch at the Church under the stairs.
I love you heaps and I feel sooo glad that you’re back home! It feels different and more comfortable.
Bye!! =D

Love.

Anyway, it’s great to be reunited with my 3 boys again. Bonus: it’s the school holidays so I get to spend a bit more time with the kids. Tonight we had a family movie night and watched “Holes”. It’s so nice for them to be able to stay up a bit later and not have to worry about homework and after school activities which usually eat into our weekday evenings (having said that, they both have soccer training this week but that’s also a great way for them to burn off some energy).

In a couple of weeks, Ethan and I are going away for a night. Just the two of us. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about our plans. We made some final decisions, and we are going to spend a night at the Stamford Plaza, a 5-star hotel in the middle of Auckland City. Ethan’s never stayed anywhere quite like this before, and the fact that there is an indoor pool is only going to aid me in my quest to win “Mother of the Year”. But seriously, I’m not doing it for brownie points. I am just looking forward to spending some quality time with my boy, doing the things he wants to do. We’ll be really close to all those surf/skate shops that he wants to look at, we’ll get to swim, and we’ll be staying in a hotel. All things on his list. I’m excited about it, and so is he.

I’ll post about Rarotonga as soon as I can. Until then, here’s one pic to give you just a taste of what we experienced on a daily basis. Nothing like eating fresh fruit and coconut for breakfast while gazing at this and marvelling at God’s beautiful creation. No editing required :: those colours are real, people!

Outta here

So I was thinking that I might head off to a tropical island tomorrow with this girl.

Rarotonga sounds nice.

Yep, good plan. I’m outta here.

And look, the sun will be shining for the duration of our stay:

I’ll post again when I get back from here:

Aere ra! (that’s ‘goodbye’ in Cook Island Maori)

Disappointed?

I read a blog post this morning that made me stop, pause and reflect. The first line of the article really grabbed me:

“The space between our expectations and our reality is a fertile field. It will grow something. Disappointment.”

I’m not sure why those few words spoke to me the way they did, but I haven’t stopped thinking about them ever since. Yes, I have had my share of disappointments in life – but they pale in significance compared to everything else. It almost feels wrong to be disappointed when I look around and see the blessings that have been heaped upon me: an amazing husband, wonderful kids, loving parents, a sister who is also my best friend, a job I love, a nice house, great friends, an awesome church family, good health … and the list goes on.

But there are a couple of words in there that change everything: our expectations. Do I set the bar so high that I inevitably have further to fall? Maybe there is far too much space between my current reality and my unfulfilled expectations. Why do I allow that gap to get so wide sometimes?

Something to think about, maybe.

Of course, facing disappointment in life is just ‘one of those things’. We all have to do it sometimes, whether we have set ourselves up for it or not.

The article went on to talk about three things we can ask ourselves when faced with disappointment:

1. What do I need to learn?
2. Could it be that I’m so concerned with what I don’t have, I’ve forgotten to be thankful for what I do have?
3. Is there something I can do to change this situation?

I need to ask myself these things when I’m faced with disappointment. What life lessons have I learned? If something is out of my control, I need to let it go. Maybe I need to put things in perspective, and look at the bigger picture. I need to be thankful, to have an attitude of gratitude. Instead of complaining about things, can I make some changes in my life?

How do you cope with disappointment?

Navigating the waters

I have a preteen. Or a tween, whatever you like to call it. According to some definitions, I have two of them. But I have one who is almost eleven, and therefore fits *my* criteria for a preteen/tween. He is right at the age where part of him wants to be a teenager, and another part of him doesn’t want to stop being a kid. Thankfully he is an amazing boy who is very sensible and responsible, and I am not worried about him. But I know the next few years may be tricky, as he tries to navigate the waters between child and adolescent. I think most kids struggle with that transition. I remember myself what it feels like to be in that ‘inbetween’ stage, and it’s not easy. Those darn hormones have a lot to answer for.

Everyone knows that babies are hard work. They are, by nature, very demanding and very dependent. Toddlers and preschoolers are even harder work, in many ways. Caring for them and entertaining them is oh-so-tiring, and you have to watch them all the time to make sure they aren’t doing anything they shouldn’t be. Then, in my opinion, there comes a ‘sweet spot’. The ages of about 6-9, where kids are more independent and can entertain themselves more easily, and where they are generally compliant and innocent and adorable. They love toys and animated movies and going to the playground. They still think it’s fun to bake cookies with Mum or go out for a fluffy. They like making huts out of the furniture and drawing with chalk on the driveway. They aren’t too cool for anything. They don’t get embarrassed easily. They’re still kids.

The preteen stage brings several different challenges. I’m not saying that my boy ticks all of these boxes (besides, I am not about to get too personal on here now that he is well and truly old enough and savvy enough to find and read my blog). But in general, I have observed that the preteen stage is different. Tweens care a LOT about how they look. Mirrors become important, as do clothes and accessories. Deoderant and combs are used regularly. Image is important. Being cool is a big deal. A lot of things they used to enjoy are now deemed to be ‘babyish’. Keeping them entertained in the holidays is not what it once was. They may be independent, but they no longer find pleasure in the simple things that used to keep them happy. And unless you are okay with electronic devices being used to babysit your kids, you need to help them find new things to focus their attention and energy on. And those things need to be age-appropriate.

I am grateful that my tween is so sporty and active, and that being at the beach or park with a ball or a bike is something that still keeps him busy and entertained. I’m also glad that he plays an instrument, which is another source of entertainment and passion. He’s not a huge reader, but we’re working on that. Having a younger brother who is still (mostly) entrenched in the aforementioned ‘sweet spot’ is helping to keep him semi-attached to things that other kids his age have already decided to leave behind. I’m grateful for that as well.

Ethan and I are currently trying to plan a special weekend away together, just the 2 of us. But trying to decide where we are going to go and what we are going to do on our trip has proven harder than I thought! I have been completely open to suggestions from him, and I am prepared to do things that I may not particularly enjoy, if they are important to him. But the problem is that HE just doesn’t know what to do. He has found himself swimming in no man’s land, as he tries to decide just what it is that he likes to do in his spare time (other than play sport). He feels like he is getting too old for some things, but he doesn’t know what to replace them with just yet. So far, he has suggested rock climbing (awesome), going to a water hole (hmm, it may be getting a wee bit cold for that, perhaps we can make it a thermal pool?) and going to some shops. I’m not sure what we will do at these shops. Knowing my boy, they will be shops that sell Vans or Converse or surf label clothing. However, he is growing at such an alarming rate that I refuse to shell out mega bucks on label brands that will only last him for a couple of months. He knows this, and accepts it, so I’m guessing he just wants to window shop?! Interesting. I think we might need to find a few more things to do together, as there is only so much window shopping I can handle. We will keep pondering it some more …

About 2 years ago, Ethan and I started a little book called “The You and Me Book”. It’s just a little blank notebook that we take turns writing in and hiding under each others’ pillows. It’s a really awesome way to stay connected, and the ‘secret’ component of it makes it exciting and mysterious. We have had some really wonderful conversations, both in and outside the book, which have been very special for us both. I love that we can share what’s on our minds in this way, and I hope we will keep the book going for as long as we can.

This phase of development, while new and slightly terrifying, is also incredibly rewarding for me as a parent. I get to watch my boy grow into a young adult, right before my eyes. I am loving it. And I am loving him more and more every single day.